Take the Recommendation

Last year I made a conscious effort to take every thoughtful recommendation I was given. This meant watching movies I had never heard of, reading books about a dead president, and even actually finishing a TV series (my first and only of 2020). While I've thought of myself as good at following through in the past, in 2020 I took it upon myself to follow through on every carefully considered recommendation, and I am much better off as a result. If I could only name one thing that I'm carrying from 2020 into the new year, it would be: Take the Recommendation*

*That of course, is not a universally true statement. There are plenty of bad recommendations out there. James Montgomery from The Infatuation, for example, is not a person to be trusted with burger recommendations. The caveated nugget of wisdom from above is: Take every carefully considered recommendation.

Evaluating Recommendations

The question then becomes, how can you tell if something has been carefully considered, outside of your own gut feeling?

I battled with this question for a bit, and I've settled on some questions that can guide you into knowing whether or not a recommendation should be followed. They may seem basic, but this framework has served me well and prevented a lot of time wasted from general recommendations fired off from people who tell you what they've been up to in the form of a "You should do this."

Ask yourself these questions when someone advises you to do/ read/ watch/ listen to something. If any of the answers are "No," say, "Thanks, but no thanks."

1. Does this person know what I like in this category?This one goes without saying, but you shouldn't take a movie recommendation from someone who doesn't know what kind of movies you like. That logic applies to restaurants, books, podcasts, etc... More often than not I find myself answering this question with "No" when given a recommendation from coworkers. They're great people, but they just don't know me on a level required to give me a good recommendation (for the most part).

2. Has this person successfully recommended me something in this category before?I know what you're thinking "If I have to answer this question with a 'Yes', I'll never take a recommendation from someone new." Yep, exactly. No recommendations from net new people. Depending on where you're at in your life, there are PLENTY of trusted sources for content and other recommendations. However, if you want to try something from someone new, take the rec, and just make sure you remember what the result of that advice was, so you know the answer to this question in the future.

3. Is this recommendation meant for me specifically?People love to fire off a rec after they've done just about anything. Whether it be watching a TV show, going for a hike, or listening to a song. There is too much shit out in the world to do everything that everyone else is doing. Too much. My suggestion is to only take specifically tailored recommendations to make sure you're getting the best of the best for you.

Let's use an example, one that was given to me this year by a friend.

My friend Eric, who I lived with, recommended me a book this year. If you have read my last post, you'll recognize Barbarian Days: A Surfing Life as one of my favorite books I've read this year. It was recommended to me by my roommate, who I was learning to surf with, and who has recommended me great written content in the past. This guy knows what I like to read, has recommended me good stuff in the past, and gave me the book specifically because he knows I would enjoy it. He was right, for the record, and now I know to trust his recommendations for the future.

Tip: If someone says (and means) "I wouldn't recommend this for everyone, but I think you would like it," do whatever it is they are telling you to do, ASAP. That framing tells you all you need to know about whether that recommendation satisfies all three criteria above. H/t to Erik Thomas for that one.

That is the process I go through for just about every recommended book, movie, TV show or Podcast, Song, whatever. It means that after I filter through the noise, I'm getting the best of what my friends and colleagues have for me. This strategy allowed me to find a variety of new things that I loved, that I would have never discovered otherwise.

Now that you know how to evaluate a recommendation, the question that follows is an obvious one: How do I give a carefully considered recommendation?

Well, the obvious answer is to *ahem* carefully consider it. But what does that mean?

Giving Better Recommendations

Stemming from the questions used to evaluate a recommendation, a carefully considered recommendation should be two things:

• Targeted for that specific person's taste in the chosen category

• Conscious of the person's appetite for that kind of recommendation, and the amount of time they allot to that category

The overarching question that should guide you before you recommend something to someone is "Do I know this person well enough to recommend something to them?" As in most decisions for life, the answer to this question should be "Fuck yes," or "No."

If the answer is fuck yes and you have something specific to recommend to a friend or colleague, the "How" of the recommendation will go a long way to making sure you're recommendation is followed through. This is simple, if not entirely easy. When giving a recommendation, make sure the person knows that you know the answer to those three questions is all "yes" by providing that info in the recommendation. Using the example from above, this book was great for me because it was given to me by a close friend who knows me, was learning to surf, and he found and gave me a copy personally. Check check check. I knew immediately that this was something that was going to be worth my time.

Things you should not do when offering a recommendation

• Don't ever recommend something that you haven't experienced for yourself. The trap here is that something might sound like a great fit for someone, but until you know it for yourself, you are potentially wasting someone's valuable time, and severely reducing your credibility. I'm guilty of this with songs I'll send based on the artist or album. Don’t be me. If you're telling someone to take some time out of their day to follow your advice make sure it’s worth the effort.

• Put some recommendations on blast for a large diverse group. If you are telling me and a group of 5 people I know to do or watch something, I'm going to roll my eyes. There is no way that rec fits the entire group. I drop these into the trash at a moment's notice because it just doesn't feel authentic.

The reason for this post was partially selfish. Because of how much I gained from recommendations last year I’m thirsty for more in 2021. Not email blast recommendations, but personal ones. To ensure that high quality recs keep coming, I'll be following through on every carefully considered recommendation that I get this year. Whether it takes me a week, a month, a year, or longer, if you recommend something to me, I will get through it and let you know what I thought. That is my promise.

Below is a picture from Japan, one of the few places I can recommend to almost anyone: