Birthdays: Why? How? Mine?

This past Sunday was my birthday. I’ve turned 26 and now am officially on the back end of my twenties. I don’t feel any way about that fact, it just is. Another year I’ve been on the earth and another year successfully evading the jaws of death. Well, that’s a bit dramatic, but you get the point. The cause for celebration was simply my continued existence, no accomplishment other than that.

As my “special day” came around, I got to wondering why we celebrate birthdays, and why they are such a big deal in modern times. So I started doing some research, which led to some thinking, which led us here, to this post.

Not on my birthday, but the day before my brother and I hiked Pikes Peak (24 miles in 10 hours)

Some History

The tradition of celebrating birthdays dates back to ancient civilizations. All the way back to Egyptians and Mesopotamians celebrating the birthdays of the rich and the famous, or in their terms, royalty. After a little while, the Pagans (Romans and Greeks) started to allow the common folk to celebrate themselves too. The beginning of birthdays coincided with the invention of calendars and thereby, a way to track the day someone was born into the next year. The timing is suspiciously coincidental. Almost as if calendars were invented so royalty could celebrate themselves. Food for thought…

Once established, the Romans advanced the birthday tradition one step further by giving us the concept of presents. Very superstitious, the Romans believed evil spirits came around on the day of someone’s birth, but surrounding yourself with loved ones and presents served as a way to ward off the evil demons.

The last step that took us to where we got to today, was delivered by… you guessed it, The Germans! That’s right, a country not typically known for its jovial spirit brought us cakes and candles. The Germans created “Kinderfeste” or Children’s party. At these events, they would have cakes and candles. Cakes because it was a “feste” and candles to denote the number of years the child had been alive. Fun fact: they also added a couple of extra candles for the future years.

As we tend to do in America, we scooped up all of the world’s traditions and commoditized them for profit. This was of course after the puritans lost the power to indict any fun as “godless hedonism”. Once we kicked out the fun suckers, we were able to kick the capitalism into full gear and by the 1920s birthday party planning and execution was a viable career option.

After an overly brief history lesson on how we arrived at the modern birthday landscape, I started thinking about why they were still so prevalent today when we have so much more going on in our lives.

My Theory

My theory stems from a quote that my US History teacher shared with us when I was a junior in high school:

"Life is hard for everyone.”

No matter your social status, demographic, or condition, life is hard. Its a constant struggle working your way up Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Providing sustenance and shelter. Ensuring you and your family’s safety is taken care of. Feeling loved. Having a positive opinion about yourself. And, if you get there, seeking your true purpose in life. It’s rough. From any background, this is a constant challenge for most people.

There’s Maslow’s hierarchy in case you’ve forgotten your freshman year psych course

In modern-day 2020, our lives are now consumed by constant access to our work devices and keeping up with the latest that is happening in our pandemic riddled planet. It is easy to forget to celebrate yourself or your friends when you have a thousand headlines whizzing through your head and countless work deadlines to get through. They say that millennials are the most stressed and overworked generation, and I know personally that it can feel like there is not a lot to celebrate.

This is where the birthday tradition slots in perfectly with modern life in a developed nation, even one going through a pandemic.

Birthdays provide a chance to celebrate your friends, family, and loved ones each and every year, no matter what has happened to them, or what they’ve accomplished (or not accomplished). It's a slam dunk. A recurring opportunity to show people your appreciation for them in the manner of celebrating their mere existence. Yes, it might feel empty, but it's a socially acceptable reason to gather and celebrate, and in a world where we don’t have too many, we’ll take what we can get.

Birthdays are a convenient, consistently timed reminder to give your buddy a shout out for being him. Or your parents for holding it down in your life. Or even your uncle who you don’t talk to that much, but appreciate greatly when you do. That’s why this tradition has lasted so long and that is why I don’t see it going anywhere anytime soon. People have a need to feel appreciated, loved, and accepted, and conveniently, birthdays supply that once a year.

There are superficial aspects to birthdays, there is no doubt about it. There are narcissists who want another excuse to throw a party for themselves and shallow people who use the day for Instagram likes, but I think that represents the minority. I think most people just want to see their loved ones and spend some quality time together.

That’s what a birthday is for me. I have never wanted to do anything too extravagant, I just want want to see the people that I love. Maybe do something memorable with them, however, that looks. Most of all I want them to know how much I appreciate having all of them in my life. This COVID-19 26th birthday was a reminder of that. The pandemic left me unable to really plan anything of consequence. But I was reminded, as I am every year, how many incredible people I have in my life simply because of how they all reach out on this one day. It’s special. It doesn’t make much logical sense, but that doesn’t matter.

In the past, I’ve rolled my eyes that seemingly endless birthday celebrations one gets invited to throughout the year (although deleting Facebook has decreased this number), but I’m past that now. Whether its a card, a call, or your presence as a form of a present, showing the people in your life you care matters, and I’ll be fully participating from here on out.

My Favorite Birthday (Last 5 Years)

Excluding those magical early birthdays, when you were 10 and all you ever wanted was a present and as much cake as you could fit in your tablespoon-sized mouth, I’ve had many ~meh~ birthdays in my life. But since you asked, I’ll tell you about my favorite birthday in recent memory.

The year was 2017 and both my roommate Tom and I were working in Philadelphia on consulting projects. It was a Wednesday and a shot of inspirations pushed us to make a spur of the moment decision to buy tickets to a Kendrick Lamar concert at the Wells Fargo Arena for his DAMN. tour.

The night began with an early departure from work and a trip to Philly Summer Sips (which is essentially a citywide happy hour in the courtyards of downtown Philly). We had a few drinks there and headed to the show in time for the opener, Travis Scott.

Travis opened the show from atop a giant bird and as hard as it is to believe, it only got better after that.

What followed was the no holds barred the best rap concert I’ve ever been to. And I’m a rap skeptic. The energy of that arena and the way Kendrick conducted the crowd like an orchestra was pure beauty in execution. Some of the most electric live music moments in my life happened in that venue.

After the concert, we made a logical school-night decision and went to "Drake Night” at one of the clubs in the city. Smart decisions followed that one with our night properly ‘capped with a Philly cheesesteak from both Pat’s and Gino’s. For those who ask, I can’t remember which was better. We hoped that would soak up the moderate amount of alcohol consumed throughout the night, but that didn’t quite do the trick.

The next day we woke up hungover, and exhausted, but happy from the night. We headed back to work and spend a good portion of the day texting each other about how badly we wanted to get back to New York.

Tom didn’t have to come out with me that night. School night party nights are brutal, especially when out at the client site like we both were. But it was my birthday so he threw that logic out the window and we ripped it.

That’s the magic of close friends on birthdays. They gather and do things they otherwise wouldn’t because it's “your day”. They drop everything because it only comes once per year, and if they’re close to you, that matters a great deal.

That’s my story, what’s been your favorite birthday experience? Send me an email or leave a comment. I want to hear something outrageous. Or banal. Whatever made you feel the best celebrating your ability to not die, just one more year.

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